Posts Tagged ‘faith

24
Jul
13

Spiritual Handicaps

Ramadan reveals our spiritual handicaps. When this blessed month comes along, we push ourselves to our spiritual limits, using the example of the Prophet (peace be upon him) to make the most of the month. We know that he used to give even more charity, pray at night longer, read more Qur’an, among many other acts.

So we take these acts of worship that the Prophet (S) used to implement or implemented more than normal and we try to follow his example. We try to give more charity. We try to recite the Qur’an more and to connect with it on a deeper level. We try to clean up our character flaws. We try to rectify our relationships and social interactions. We try to do all of these things, and in our efforts we realize that we are falling short and we’re not to the level we want to be.

We realize, I am seriously attached to the life of this world and I can’t dig deep and give as much sadaqah as I should. I don’t know how to read Arabic and I’m tired of having sucky tajweed. I don’t understand Arabic and I can’t stand in another prayer and not know what’s being said. My heart is so caught up with so much bakwas (music, TV, pop culture) that I can’t connect to the Qur’an, I can’t feel it. I don’t have the determination to wake up at night for night prayers. I don’t have enough confidence in my relationship with God to make dua and know that He is listening and will answer it. I only feel a spiritual connection with God through others (others reciting the Qur’an, others leading prayers, etc.) and in communal worship, I can’t experience the same feelings or reach the same level on my own. I have serious anger issues and I can’t control my temper. I use language that I shouldn’t be using, I gossip like mad, and I say things to others that are hurtful and whack. I am lazy and I don’t push myself to my fullest potential. I am a horrible parent, child, spouse, friend, and if it were up to me I would never want to be on the receiving end of that relationship I have with others. I don’t have the discipline to control my desires. My priorities are all wrong and my life is a mess.

And so these are the conclusions we make in Ramadan. This is the wake up call we feel staring us straight in the face. These are the spiritual handicaps that we discover which are keeping us from reaching new heights in our faith. We try our best and make do with what we have, and then Ramadan is over and we might feel like we’ve made a little bit of progress…but then next Ramadan is just around the corner and we struggle with the same spiritual handicaps once again all over again.

I am determined to break that vicious cycle. Let’s take one area of our lives, one spiritual handicap, and focus on improving that this month. And once Ramadan is over, we’re not done. We will continue to work on that specific spiritual handicap throughout the year, so that we go from a wheelchair to crutches to limping to walking to running to flat out sprinting by next Ramadan iA. If I feel like I’m having trouble with having confidence in my dua/prayers to God, I am going to use this month to get a push off the wall and start making strides in my journey to strong and accepted prayers. If I feel like I can’t engage in night prayers, I am going to start waking up this month and keep it up once a week, twice a week for the rest of the year. If I feel like I gossip way too much, I am going to watch what I say and who I am around starting from now, and throughout the year I am only going to get better and better with the words that come out of my mouth.

Here’s to one less spiritual handicap on my list of spiritual handicaps for next Ramadan iA.

 

ICSGV's new facility. One of my favorite places to be during Ramadan. And check out those light fixtures!

ICSGV’s new facility. One of my favorite places to be during Ramadan. And check out those light fixtures!

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